musings from the side of the road in utah

I'm currently sitting in the van with Terence on the side of the road in Utah. We just played a great round of Rummy 500, where I was totally kicking his ass at the start, but he came back with an epic win. Meh...I'll get you next time Mr. Terence...

It's been quite a full two weeks since I got back into the states from Bali. So here are some photos (above, and in my photo stories) and updates from my weirdly wonderful life:

Bali
If you haven't read my last post about the Embodied Dance Temple Keepers training in Ubud with the marvelous Mana Mei, it's a good one.

Some people weren't completely sure what I was up to in Bali, since the name of the training isn't exactly common. So to give some more context, I was training in embodied dance facilitation. I've gained more skills to hold space and guide people in dance and movement to support them in finding greater connection to their bodies and their truth. Yay! There are literally so many benefits for the mind, body, spirit, heart from dance and movement, so I won't go into a whole spiel here. But I will say, that I am SO beyond grateful to have gifted my body the experience of this work, to have trained so closely with the women in Bali, and to officially be able to share the beauty of these practices with others! Keep and eye out... a new website with workshops and experiences coming your way in 2020... *waves arms in giddy delight*

And I'll also say, that Bali is just magical. It was my first time visiting, and I'm certain I'll be going back.


Tez & Teags
Terence and I...we're wonderful. I don't think I've shared a writing devoted to us since we were in Alaska! Which sounds crazy... that feels like it was years ago. But here we are, about four months later, and we have been on a journey and a half.

There were times during those months together in the van where we were both having doubts and concerns about staying in the relationship. But one of the things I’m most grateful for about us, is that we talk about it with each other. Sometimes we’re not the most graceful about it. But we do our best. Neither of us are interested in blindsiding the other with information that we’ve allowed to build up into some epic story about why we need to leave. And most times we realize that the story, is just that, a story.

The van had become a sort of pressure cooker for our connection, and it was really uncomfortable for a while. We were having all these stupid petty arguments about seemingly nothing. We both started realizing that an essential thing neither of us were getting was alone time. And neither of us were very experienced at figuring out how to get that alone time when we were traveling around the country together in a van.

Within the last few months, I took a trip to Massachusetts, to Burning Man, and a trip to Bali by myself, while Terence was in the van and in Hawaii. And I think it was exactly what we needed to reestablish our connection to ourselves as sovereign beings who are choosing to be together. And it's been sooooooooo much sweeeeeeeter since then.

We were camping out in San Rafael Swell, Utah for a few nights last week, and devoted an evening to talking about any and all of the things that had been up in the air for us in our partnership. The things that were scary. The things that we had been dreaming about but hadn't yet expressed. The things we were desiring but didn't quite know how to claim. And it’s just so damn awesome to know and trust that I can be all of myself with this person, and that I’ll be loved and accepted in it. We're seeing each other clearly, and loving each other dearly. Heheh, I had to. These moments, these experiences with him, are bringing such richness to my life. Thanks, amazing man.


Utah
Last but no sirreee not least. I fucking LOVE Utah.

I don't know exactly what it is about it. But I am just so awestruck when I'm here.

I've only really driven through Utah at one other point in my life. When I was driving home from college at the end of my senior year; driving from Michigan to California, and I drove through Utah on my route. And I remember a very special moment coming up over this hill, when I saw the canyons for the first time, and the sun came out from behind the clouds just as I drove over, and Feed the Birds from Mary Poppins started playing on my playlist... and I just started weeping with joy. What's that about just having graduated from Drama school...??? It was just one of those moments where all of the magical things align, and sing for you. And I knew I needed to come back one day.

So the fact that Terence and I were able to spend a whole week here along our travels, is just the best. Some photos I'm obsessed with are now up in the Utah photo stories tab. The pinks, oranges and sandy whites of the canyons mesmerize me every day.


Vegas Baby, Fly!
So there you have it! My weirdly wonderful world in two weeks.

Tonight, we're treating ourselves to a show in Vegas, and then flying out to visit my family in Massachusetts for a few days. And I'm sure there will be plenty more to write about when that happens.

~T